No matter how many times you hear the words, “This may be your last day, ” or “You may never see them again,” both statements eventually come true. And no matter how much you try to prepare to lose a loved one, you are never really prepared.
And so it is, one month after publishing a book about dealing with “loss,” and one day after speaking to pastor’s wives about “The Path of Loss”, I received the lifelong dreaded call that my mother had a massive stroke and was not expected to live. Through a cavalcade of tears, I rebooked my flight, rented a car, and arrived by my mother’s bedside to say my goodbye’s. That was last week.
Due to the necessary arrangements that are going to take some time, my posts here may be sporadic. I apologize for that. But I know those who do visit this blog, are the types that have understanding hearts. So thank you for being patient until I am able to get back to normal life again. My mom was one of my chief encouragers, a daily joy, a constant gift, and understanding friend. Her passing is a major blow, but even there, my God has met me and will not fail.
I posted this on Instagram and Facebook off-the-cuff and thought I’d share. It’s not well thought out, only spilled out. That’s kind of what happens with grief…the doorway of your soul springs open and raw emotion spills out.
I held my mom’s hand
For one last time
Felt her warm fingers
That once entwined mine.
The hand that once braided
This head of black hair
The hand that had bandaged
Each wound with such care.
I stared at her palms
And remembered again
The years of my tears
She’d wiped from my chin.
But this time they dripped
An unstoppable flow
And the still small voice
Whispered “time to let go.”
And when the Lord came
Took her laboring breath
Held her heart in His hand
He had freed her through death.
So much sorrow in joy
Now she’s free from all pain
Our deepest loss
Is heaven’s great gain.
No more tears does she cry
No more ache does she feel
No more absence from her longings
No more prayers just to heal.
Soon will be the day
When my hand will yet again
Hold her close with ceaseless joy
I can barely wait ‘til then.
Lord, thank you for her life
And the love she gave to me
Then He spoke straight to my heart
“You’ll be with us eternally.”
Dear Shannon,
Thank you for your beautiful poem. It brought to mind the bittersweet passing of my own precious mother in our home. I too look forward to the wonderful reunion in glory as we serve our heavenly Savior.
In His love,
Ingrid
Thank you Ingrid. The word “wonderful” is exactly what it will be….and then some! Love to you!
Shannon, you continue to be in my prayers for our Abba Father’s peace and comfort by His Holy Spirit in and upon you … holding and upholding you … helping you through each moment, one day at a time.
Thank you for sharing. The poem and the pictures are so beautiful and touching. You were a blessing to your Mom … and she to you. Deep love, cherished memories, and the blessed living hope that you will see her again.
(p.s. I didn’t know you played basketball! So do I, & coach a sweet varsity girls bball team. Wish we lived closer so you could come and teach us 🙂
Karen! I had no idea about basketball. I’m convinced it’s a sport we will play in heaven 🙂 Thank you for your very kind note and encouragement. Without Jesus, how would we deal with the vast majority of things in life. He’s been a true Comforter through this. Thank you!
When you first posted this my sorrow for you left me utterly speechless. I still have very few words that could speak the depth my heart feels at your words. Your mom was all I never had. I am grateful for the touches I had with her over a few short years. What spilled out on this page, I know she has read from heaven over and over with a joy that will someday replace all tears.
My mom loved you like you were an adopted daughter. She could never get over your thoughtfulness and unexpected blessings or phone contact. Thank you for being another “good gift” from the Lord that made the most memorable birthday of my life possible with her. Love you.